Life in the Son behind Bars
written by Bill Crossman
An Education
that God hath given to us eternal life,
and this life is in his Son.
He that hath the Son hath life;
and he that hath not the Son of God
hath not life” (1 John 1:11-12).
Life is a growth process based on learning experiences. It is my belief that crime is a learned pattern and I see few, if any, exceptions. This belief has come in part from my own imprisonment of eighteen years and experiences with other inmates over the last twenty eight years. I can remember lying in my cell, visualizing all the cells I'd ever been in, which included three prisons and more than twenty-five county jails. I wondered why my future hope was so limited and dim. Why that present existence bore down on me with the threat of death. (I knew other inmates were thinking as I.) My cell, my thoughts, overwhelmed me!
I once knew a guy whose mental attitude did not let him make a right turn. It became so much a part of him that he acted by instict, as it were. It began as a way to rebel and frustrate the prison guards. The consequences of his action had no reality to him. On the contrary, it frequently gave him added attention he'd not otherwise receive. His conduct was often humorous as when a new guard was escorting him somewhere. At any right turn he would go to the left and the guard turned to the right. The embarrassment of the guard was evident as he ran to retrieve his charge. Then there was the consternation of the guard trying to get his man to go to the right.
However, there were some consequences which our friend did not find so pleasant. He was faced with a dilemma: learn to turn right, or continue to suffer the unpleasant consequences. So he “solved” the problem by exaggerating his conduct. He discovered he could continue his behavior and escape the consequences by making three left turns in order to go to the right. He had learned to adjust without conforming.
Similar adjustments are made by inmates to the harsh life and regimen of prison. And to those coming to Jesus Christ, there frequently is distortion in their method of adjusting to the Spirit. Their intellect is challenged (John 6:45). Their obedience is essential (James 1:12-23). But their emotions are questioning (Proverbs 19:3). The welding together of the intellect and emotions often appears as distortion in the walk of faith. This is life in the Son behind bars. A fight for faith rather than the fight of faith. The inmate is making the necessary left turns in order to go right.
When Paul wrote, “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me” (Philippians 4:13), he was writing from long experience. I note that in verse 11 he says, “I have learned...” In verse 12 he says, “I have learned to get along with humble means.” This learning did not come through divine revelation. Experience was his tutor. It was not simply the suffering of hardships or crushed hope. Rather, it was his struggle to adjust to the right turn in a harsh environment to go with Christ. He had set his direction in Christ. Through the consequences of physical and mental circumstances, he learned. This knowledge of Christ arrived intellectually and experientially.
Decision Making
It is in experience that the inmate establishes his resolve for Christ. Often the inmate's self-concept is one of victim. He is the victim of circumstances, of society, of repressive law. But as he builds his life in the Son this false image of self dissipates. Experience is the context by which he harvests adjustment, keeping in mind that experience is conditioned in an adverse environ.
There are those inmates who would never be seen in the chapel area. To them the Chapel and those who are there are hypocrites, sissy, using religion to impress the prison officials. But some of these same inmates will read their Bibles and work on Bible Courses diligently in their cells. I have visited many on a one-on-one study and encouraged them to assemble with the saints, but could never get them to the Chapel. Their faith is private. To expose it to the prison population by going to the Chapel would cancel out any peace they might have found. In their thinking they have adjusted. But we can see the distortion of it.
While inmate Kelly Lawson was confined in the Dallas, Texas county jail, his zeal for the gospel was so strong that he convinced a number of inmates of their need to be baptized. But there was no baptistry at the jail. His “adjustment” was to plug up the shower with rags, stack mattresses in the doorway and turn on the water as full as it would go. Then, one after another, he'd talk his “converts” into the shower for “baptism”. His sense of righteousness won him the tag, “John the Baptist,” which he enjoyed.
Other inmates are able to relate to the prison experience in a more pragmatic way. As Wesley, #45848, explained to me one day. “Jesus' parable (Luke 13:6-9) about a tree standing in a garden that had no fruit. The owner was displeased and tells the gardener to cut it down and cast it out for it had no value. But the gardener asks permission to work with the tree and dig about the roots and put on dung and let it along for a year. If it brings fruit, well and good. But if it does not, then cut it down and burn it. My life in this prison is like the Lord digging about the roots of my life and putting on a lot of dung! Now I need to produce some fruit.”
His recognition of this point was the fruit of his own investigation. He was in the process of making the greatest decision of his life. There is nothing which establishes the heart like perseverance. It is the companion of decision. The decision must frequently be reinforced, however. As James puts it, “the trying of your faith works patience; but let patience have her perfect work” (James 1:2,3). Robert Shank may have had it correct in his book, Life in the Son, when he defined such a struggle in life as “a study of perseverance.”
An inmate's commitment to walk in faith is contrary to the structure and purpose of incarceration. The prisoner's life in the Son is a decision to endure ridicule and harrassment, accept his confinement willingly, and obey rules he hates.
If his decision is a ploy to escape the reality of prison life, his reward is filled with disappointment and frustration. If obedience is not learned, freedom in Christ will not occur (Galatians 5:1).
It is incumbent upon the prison evangelist to teach the holy Word and that freedom is ONLY in Christ. In prison or out of prison the physical position has no relevance to the substance of freedom. As we grow in the Word, we grow in freedom. A prisoner who understands this point will be able to say, “It is good that I am in prison. By it I have found real freedom through Christ.”
Men and women in prison are blessed with a great deal of time which could be given to ponder the scriptures. Feeding upon the Word is to fill the heart with resolve and with understanding that He is able to keep that which He has promised... Life in the Son. But the inmate must be encouraged and guided again and again.
(2 Peter 1:5-8)